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Jamie English

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August 21, 2020 by Jamie English

Are You Afraid of the Ceiling Fan?

This guy is cautious of ceiling fans. At any given moment, if there is a startling sound, he will quickly look at the ceiling fan in what I think is a bit of fear. To our knowledge, the ceiling fans have not done anything to be so ominous. He seems cautious of them on or off. And if they were previously off and we turn them on, he looks more vindicated in his fear response.

We jokingly say that one day when ceiling fans attack us, or one falls on us, he will be able to say, “See? And you were making fun of me.” We have lived in this house for seven years, and he has coexisted with the ceiling fans all along. They are in practically every room of the house.

But you and I know that the likelihood of the ceiling fans being dangerous is slim, right? I refuse to Google and find out how many have died by ceiling fans because those statistics often blow my mind. As you read this, you hopefully respond, “poor kitty—the ceiling fan isn’t going to get you!”

What are your ceiling fans? What are the things that create fear for you that aren’t even real? Try interrupting those thoughts and reminding yourself it isn’t real. Sometimes it doesn’t take that long of interrupting those thoughts for us to feel better!

Get ready, though; the fear sometimes tries to argue with you. I mean, if my kitty could tell me, he might say to me that the ceiling fan could crush him….or if it hits me, a human, in just the right spot it could kill me….or that there is a conspiracy that ceiling fans everywhere are becoming sentient and will ban together and take over the world. Some of that could be true. Some of that not so much. Nonetheless, if we worry all the time about the what-ifs, it is stealing our peace.

Interrupt the thought and tell yourself it isn’t real.

Filed Under: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, Psychoeducation Tagged With: acceptance and commitment therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, mental-health, metaphor, thought stopping

May 1, 2020 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

Is Fear Real?

There was a movie a few years ago that, full disclosure, I never saw. It starred Will Smith and his son. Even though I never saw it, I saw the previews and the trailers. There was a line that I really, really liked. He was teaching son about fear. He said….

Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.

How much of our anxiety is all around stories we are making up in our heads? I do not want to minimize our experiences. Our brains appropriately react to dangerous stimuli. And there are times when our brains have adapted and gone into overdrive based on very real experiences. Retraining our brains is not a simple task. But for the moment, it can be helpful to look at fear as not real. When our fear response is not overactivated, it is a gift in scary situations. When we run into the tiger in the jungle, our brain does what it needs to run really fast or maybe wrestle with the tiger. But when the tiger isn’t there, what are the thoughts causing us problems?

Filed Under: Anxiety Education, Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, Psychoeducation, Trauma Education Tagged With: anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions, mental-health, self awareness, trauma

January 10, 2020 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

What If It’s a Gift?

A friend shared with me a thought, a question really, that she had been pondering. “What if it’s a gift?” It is such a simple idea, but if we are feeling stress and frustration, or perhaps disappointment, it could be so helpful to step back and ask ourselves, “What if it’s a gift?” Notice it is not saying for sure it is a gift, but it softens things up so that we can consider the possibility that it might be.

So often, there are factors that we don’t know and may never know. Is there any way to imagine the thing we are experiencing MIGHT be a gift? Things didn’t work out because there is a better thing coming up. Or maybe what we thought would be amazing had hidden problems that would have been drama and pain for us. Or perhaps this struggle we are going through is going to inspire us to make an impact in the world. There are so many possibilities.

This is not a blanket statement declaring it is definitely a gift. But can we, even if it is just momentarily, imagine that maybe it is?

Filed Under: Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, Psychoeducation Tagged With: acceptance and commitment therapy, cognitive distortions, mental-health, mindfulness

July 19, 2019 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

Are You Looking Ahead?

Last year, I shared about how looking forward to something can benefit our mental health. I had looked forward to Hawaii for so long, and I honestly still remember Hawaii fondly. Hawaii was so worth the time it took anticipating, the time there, and the lasting effects of having a ‘happy place’ to remember. I hear I need to go back because there are other islands and the ‘island life’ is better displayed on the other islands. We went to Oahu, which was very much a touristy city. So, I don’t disagree, I’ll go back one day so I can see other islands.

When I was in sandtray training in October of 2017, I did my own sandtray that included a vision to go to Orlando, to Harry Potter World. I wrote some about that here, and guess what I did this summer? We took a family vacation to Florida, to go to Harry Potter World, and we each had our own interactive wands to use throughout the park. We got to see Hogwarts Castle. We rode the Hogwarts Express (see picture above). It was such a fun time, and I’m so glad to have had such a great experience. As we’ve discussed before, I am a little bit nerdy.

So, as I am thinking about the power of looking forward to something, I am wanting to revisit this recommendation for you. What are you looking forward to? As discussed in last year’s blog, it helps us if we are ‘actively’ looking forward to the visit. I was setting money aside for souvenirs in Orlando, up to a week or so before we flew out. I have already started a Scotland fund because THAT is my next big trip. I think these vacations are so good for us, I want to do small-ish trips before Scotland, but Scotland is on the agenda to celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary in a few years.  Something else I am looking forward to is starting a PhD program this fall. It has been 12 years since I was in school, but I am embracing my growth mindset. Truthfully, I am a little nervous. Nervousness and excitement look the same, biologically, in our bodies, so I am focusing on being excited about learning and growing and experiencing the PhD journey. What’s next on your list?

Filed Under: Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, Growing, Psychoeducation Tagged With: gratitude, growth mindset, list, mental-health, motivation, Sandtray, self-care

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Jamie English



(903) 399-5131
jamie@innerrevolution.org

2080 N. Hwy 360, Suite 430
Grand Prairie, TX 75050

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2080 N. Hwy 360, Suite 430
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