heroic journey Archives - Jamie English

March 13, 2020 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

The World Is Waiting

Many years ago, I was struggling with my daughter, not sleeping through the night. I started looking online for others with the same struggle. When I was dealing with another struggle with my son a few years ago, I did the same thing. As I think about it, when I have the presence of mind and am going through a struggle, I look for someone else who has had a similar journey. It helps me so much to know I am not alone. It inspires me to know this doesn’t have to be forever, or if it is forever, we can find a way to cope where we don’t feel like it is such a struggle.

As a therapist, I get to sit front row for some amazing stories! Stories of insight…of transformation….of overcoming! I have said to many of my clients that I could see them writing a book or an article or a blog. Maybe I can see them speaking to various audiences. Sure, they don’t owe this to anyone. They certainly don’t owe this to me. But if they were to decide to explore that avenue and share their story, I think it could be an inspiration to many.

Earlier this week, I shared a quote on social media by Rosie Molinary. If you aren’t familiar with her, check her out. The quote this week spoke to me on such a deep level. I am hoping it will for you as well.

Your vulnerability is meant for building community, not walls. You have everything you need inside of you. You always have. Now, what you must know is that the world is aching for you to show up as you are. It won’t just change you. It will change everything.

I am writing this out and putting it on my mirror. I am going to show up more. Will you join me? You are the hero of your story. The world is aching for us!

July 12, 2019 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

But Are You Willing?

Life has moments where challenges arise that require an action that, if we are honest, we really don’t want to do. Honestly, there are adulting things almost daily that we don’t want to do, am I right? What I am talking about here today may apply to these adulting responsibilities, but I am wanting to talk more about those harder things that show up in our lives.

As a therapist, I ask a lot of people sometimes. Look at the painful parts of your life, your traumas, and feel the feelings that come up. I KNOW this is hard. A shift happens, though, when they are honest and say, sometimes with tears welling up in their eyes, “but I don’t want to.” And I say, with every ounce of tenderness I have, “I know…. I do…. But, are you willing?”

While this can be quite powerful in the therapeutic setting, is there a way to apply it in other areas of our lives as well? If we can open ourselves up a bit and say, “I am willing,” it allows a little bit of something almost magical to happen in our minds. We simply don’t have to want to do something to be willing to!

May 31, 2019 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

Do You Lie to Your Therapist?

I like to think one of my superpowers as a therapist is creating an environment that makes it safe to share anything. I recently read an article that said that 83 to 93% of clients lie to their therapist, with 61% citing a reason of embarrassment or shame. Even if I do a fairly good job of creating a safe, therapeutic space, I am reminded of the blinding power of shame.

Once again, I am humbled by the superpowers of my clients, who show up and share anyway. Shame is a sneaky and manipulative supervillain. As a therapist, I am simply a sidekick (if that) in the quest to destroy shame. The client is the superhero of the story.

If you lie to your therapist, you are not alone. Check out this article and see for yourself where you might fit. And if it is that devious and underhanded villain shame, remember you are the hero of this story. Brené Brown says shame needs three things to survive: silence, secrecy, and judgment. She also says it cannot survive empathy. Sometimes the villain knocks the hero down for a count. But they get back up and keep fighting. Find your sidekick, be it a therapist or a trusted friend. Use the formula for destroying shame, douse that shame with empathy. First, you have to break the silence.

May 17, 2019 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

Stories to Be Told

I’ve been reading a book by John Green called Turtles All the Way Down. If my count is right, this will be the fourth book I’ve read by this author. As I am reading it, I comment to my husband that the storyline seems a little familiar. I think I said something like, “Protagonist is shy and awkward, has an eccentric outgoing friend, and circumstances set forth for an adventure in search of something.” Hubs says, “Yeah, like Looking for Alaska.” I say, “Actually I was thinking of Paper Towns.” But that was exactly my point. At first, I admit I was a little judgey. No hate on John Green. He seems an interesting fellow. And reading his work is a nice, light reading kind of break for my mind that is often absorbed into heavier material. Each of the storylines have some variations that are fun and intriguing. Plus, everyone loves The Hero’s Journey, which is virtually all of the movies and books we love.

And then my thinking took a turn, I started wondering about Mr. Green. Why is it needs to tell this story over and over? What does it mean to him? Who does he identify with? What is he working through?

And then what about me? What story do I need to tell? And why am I not telling it? What story do we each need to tell? Are we telling it? On the one hand, of course, I think we all have our own story to tell…but is there another one in there that needs to be told?

The World Is Waiting

But Are You Willing?

Do You Lie to Your Therapist?

Stories to Be Told

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