journal Archives - Jamie English

April 12, 2019 by Jamie English Leave a Comment

Speaking Your Love Language to Yourself

I believe at this point that most everyone is familiar with the concept of love languages. If you aren’t, you might be interested in checking out the book that’s been around since 1992. And as I was researching to find out how long the book had been out, I learned they have a great website and even an app, where you can take a quiz to find out your love language.

And if you are thinking this is a post only for couples, please keep reading. The love languages are for couples, BUT….. What about your relationship with yourself? I recently saw a social media post with ideas for loving yourself. I loved this and started building the list. If you know your love language, add one or two of these ideas into your routine:

For PHYSICAL TOUCH, getting a massage or even a manicure or pedicure is a great self-care option. Some other ideas include yoga or stretching, as well as lotions or oils that feel good on your skin or soak in a tub. You could also get a nice soft and/or blanket to snuggle up with.

For WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, do some self-coaching….out loud! Be your own cheerleader and tell yourself what you are doing well. Some other ideas are journaling and adding some affirmations into your daily routine. You can collect things others have said to you, writing them in their own journal or a section of your journal. Write a letter to yourself or just leave some post-it notes around reminding yourself of your best qualities.

For QUALITY TIME, really set aside time for yourself, to do what you want to do. Do you have hobbies or activities that you really enjoy? Make sure you are doing them regularly. Ever take yourself to the movies or out to dinner? Journaling and meditation fit well in this category.

For ACTS OF SERVICE, check in with yourself and see how best to receive love for yourself. Do you want to arrange things to be done for you, such as lawn care or housecleaning? This could be going to therapy as well. Bake yourself something you would enjoy. Do some random acts of kindness for others….and then back on yourself if it applies.

For RECEIVING GIFTS, this one is likely the easiest to implement. Treat yo self! Putting a little money toward things for yourself, like small indulgences you’d enjoy. Set up a regular amount to spend on yourself each week or each month. Another great idea here is to sign up for a subscription box that appeals to you. There are so many out there, some as inexpensive as $10 per month.

What would you add to this list? Do you know your love language? How can you add to your self-care repertoire using your love language?

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December 15, 2017 by Jamie English 2 Comments

Thus Far…

Just this past September, I revisited writing regularly in this blog. If you have been following along with me, you may have made a list of 25 Words to describe yourself. After that, you might have developed a self-care plan by making a list of ways to take care of yourself, then organizing this list.

In addition, there was my soapbox about memes floating across social media (piggy backing on a blog post by a friend and fellow therapist).

I added a few resources to my resource page via some blog posts about a couple of books and a website.

I got a little philosophical about our flaws and discussed looking at our life’s story as A Hero’s Journey.

And…with any luck, maybe you got to thinking about doing something creative and focusing on gratitude.

There’s a quick recap of some of the highlights in my blogging for the last few months. I think it is good for us to look at our own lives periodically and see what we’ve done “thus far.” Grab your journal and strive to list 25 accomplishments you’ve made this year. I can hear some of you now….TWENTY-FIVE???? Are you kidding me? I know! It sounds like a lot, but we often don’t celebrate or “count” some of our accomplishments that we ought to. I’ve gotten grief in the past for making a number too high and setting some up for failure. And I totally get it if you want to make the number smaller or expand higher than one year. Take care of yourself. Maybe, though, just for the next couple of weeks, see if you can set aside a couple pages out of your journal and see how close you can get to 25 accomplishments this year!

In this blog post, I reviewed the last few months of me blogging and included 10 links that one could argue are 10 different accomplishments in their own way, some were very practical accomplishments and others were simply accomplishments by way of sharing myself.

Okay, one of the ten links is a link to a friend’s blog that I felt inspired to link to again. So….I know what I am writing about next week, so I’ll link that up here later.

July 22, 2013 by Jamie English 2 Comments

Boundaries, Part 1

Why do we have fences? For one, it helps us know where our property ends. Secondly, it helps us see easily if something is inside our property line. And lastly, they often help us feel safer. Are fences necessary? Not really…. Does everyone have fences? No, of course not.

I think the concept of boundaries can be complex. Most of us could use some clarity on boundaries. And the benefits of boundaries are very much the same as the ones I mentioned for fences. And while everyone may not have land that has a fence or needs a fence, every one of us have a self that is our own “property.”

The first thing to do is to get a good picture of what you want your boundaries to be. Often times, we don’t know we have a boundary until someone crosses it. And then….some have never had a good set of boundaries, so no action is taken.,.,.sometimes resulting in more boundary crossing. Take a moment to decide where your boundaries are. This can be quite a process. But YOU make up the inside of the boundary; therefore, it is YOU who decides what is inside and what is outside.

Get quiet and visualize some kind of fence around you
Get paper and pen and write down what you know is inside the fence
On a separate paper, write some times when you know others have crossed over inside your fence because you felt it and did not like it
On yet another paper, write some questionable times that it was “iffy” and you weren’t sure if your boundary was crossed
Take some time to get this out on paper, either journaling or listing according your style and preference

The answers are all within you, but going through this process with help you get clarity….KNOWING your fence-line is the first step in what can be a confusing task of setting boundaries. We will talk more about that next week….

Speaking Your Love Language to Yourself

Boundaries, Part 1

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